Saturday, December 18, 2010

What???? Your boyfriend has a girlfriend???

I hear many people debate on whether or not it is okay for a person in a relationship to have "good" friends of the opposite sex. Some females will say things like "well I don't like females so I hang wit dudes" and others may say "Why allow the temptation around your relationship?" It is a debate that many may have for a long time, but is there really a concern?

When I met my now husband (then boyfriend). He had a lot of female friends. Him and his guys had a lot of girls that would come around. I was cool with the guys and the girls. I mean, most of the guys are like my brothers until this day. Hell I even kicked it with his exes on occasion. I never had a problem with the exes. They always respected me and were real cool. HOWEVER....summa them other chicks was ackin shady like I stole they man or something.

Now I do understand that many of the ho's they hung around was passed through the group (we will call them The Deen Crew) back in the day. I mean I see summa these girls and I will ask "okay which one of y'all hit that (or came close to it)" and usually at least 2 will raise their hand. I think the chicks feel like it is an obligation to stick around so they can make sure to meet the quota of sleeping with 3 or more of "The Deen Crew" in their lifetime. The PROBLEM I have with this, is I think summa these ho's still try to keep my man in this loop (actually I don't think..I know...cuz they have tried).

Now what happens is the ho's come around taumbout "yeah we been close since we lived on ABC street" or "we grew up together so we like cousins" or the famous one "he been like my brother since High School". Of course my husband and I talk about EVERYTHING, so when I ask him he is just like "Iono where they got that from. We was cool but I ain't never call her my sister." So why does she call you brother/cousin/bff now??? It just trips me out because What the hell are they tryna prove?

I know all of the girls who are like sisters and cousins to my man....wanna know why???? Because all of them call me sister or cousin just like they call him. They will call my phone just as much as they call his. They invite me to the birthday parties and tell me to bring him....That is how I know they respect me...these other chicks on the other hand don't act the same way.

The other chicks call him brother and cousin but call me...well ain't no tellin what they be callin me LOL. They will invite HIM to things but not invite me.....thankfully I have a man who truly respects me and will decline any invitation that doesn't have his wife's name on it. Not that I HAVE to go...but he wants to have the option of at least knowing I am as welcomed as he is. If I ain't welcome, he ain't goin and vice versa.

The moral to the story behind this long rant is.........Friends of the opposite sex are okay as long as they can always be mutual friends of you both and they respect you. Yes you always have to be cautious because some ho's will smile in yo face taumbout "oh you so cool" then be tryna get it in wit yo man/woman behind your back. So the key is that first you and your mate respect one another, then make sure people on the outside respect your mate as well. Then just be ready to slap a ho' if they cross the line LOL.

Now I am not saying just go out and make random friends with people of the opposite sex, especially one's that were not around from the beginning. That could be a bomb waiting to explode and turn into a Side-ho. But I am saying that it can happen.

What are your thoughts?



  1. You said it all Sis, being we was homes on twitter first, and wifey thought you was suspect at first but I told her you & Dusty was & is like family, then after she got to know you she found out i had nothing to fact y'all like first cousins now.

    But to answer the question they can be but it is a MUST that they respect the relationship that he/she is in PERIOD! If not whatever friendship/relationship that once was or used to be needs to stay in the past Just like they feelings

    And that's my $ .02

  2. LOL, I knew my sis thought I was on that bull...that is why as soon as I saw her on your FB I friended her. She was *sideeying* me at first but that is why I had to show her personally that she didn't have to be uncomfortable with me cuz I ain't on that. These ho's don't do that. They be tryna be sneaky.

  3. HOWEVER she did have a reason to think that at first....and mainly bacause of ME me being a little too friendly with a few other women on twitter previously, and letting my guard down, (knowing i knew better)