How y'all be doin? I hope you is fine :)
I know you probably wanted a grand end of year or beginning of year post but-er-uh...........I was on vacation....and you know when Black folks go on break.........we BREAK!
So yeah I didn't even turn on the PC and didn't feel like blogging from the phone......but you know I had some stuff that I wanted to share wit y'all....whooooooo chile I was like alla my blog friends would be CRACKIN UP if they saw this mess.........
So I went to see @kevinhart4real on NYE and maaaaaaaaaaaaaan that show was sumn else. Oh 'you gon' learn ta'night!" (had to be there to get the joke, but I swear it was funny as heck). Anyway I am not going to talk about the comedians.....the real comedy was in the fashion that was there. I mean the whole price of the ticket ( I was main floor 6th row BTW) was worth the laughs we got just from looking around at skinny jeans, fishnet stockings and lacefront madness. Chi-town (which is usually know for being dressed alla way up) made us look real, real, real bad that day.
Let me start with the girl in the seat directly in front of me...I guess she musta been runnin late for the show an er'thang cuz she left out about 13 pieces of her 27 piece. I mean the tickets for that show were pretty expensive so you gotta do what you gotta do to get there in time.....but...um....yeah....throw a bad wig on top of it or something. I know the lights was down most of the show, and maybe you thought no one would see, but er'time the lights came on all I got was a glimpse of half of your 15th track and your dandruff filled scalp. Have some respect for...hell anybody.
S/N******* if you happened to be at the 7:30 show in the 5th row with a jacked up weave that day and you are reading this blog.......then naw I ain't taunboutchu. That was somebody else.... *looks around*
Then one of our "popular" radio personalities "Trey the Choklit Jock..... (for lack of a better term...and by better I mean he's really not all that popular...haha naw I'm playin he cool) came out in some..as the comedian called them..."Cocaine White Loafers". I guess Trey didn't get the "white after labor day" memo. I don't really care about the memo either, but I don't go around on nobody stage blindin er'body with my Super White Shoes. I mean they weren't even segzy shoes...they were just....well white *shrugs*.
Now let me get this next one straight before I get a lot of hate mail.........I'm a big girl. Never denied this at all. But there is one thing I will never wear in public as long as my size is 20 something......Fishnet stockings!!!! (especially with a short skirt) Nope, nope, nope, can't do it. This girl was up in there AT LEAST a Women's Size 34 on a good day if she wasn't bloated and held her stomach in. If she bent over I coulda gave her a colonoscopy (sp) right through the stockings and up her.....well you know. I swear she looked like the net the Forest Gump was catching all the shrimp with. Now I don't usually talk about my big girls who are doing they thing. I mean some big girls gets down....but that chick.....mmmm nahhhh....sad part is somebody screwed her that night and told her that ish looked good. SMH
and finally I must say this and I must say it loudly because apparently dudes out there are not understanding. So listen closely........................
SKINNY JEANS ARE NOT FOR DUDES!!!!!!!!!
I hope they heard me this time because that night, somebody thought they was lookin good comin up in the Chicago theater with skinny jeans on with the waist at they knees....another comedian said it this way and I stand behind this statement........."If you gotta arch your feet to get in your jeans and you're a dude...then you are no longer a dude." You have completely lost your penis card if you point your toes to get them in your jeans. Do not pass go and do not collect $200. And then you got the nerve to sag them???? Aw hell naw. Walkin around looking like that girl who bought her panty hose too small and the crotch part only go right past her knees......GTHOH
Chi-town we are supposed to be known for how bein so fresh and so clean, clean....I bet not EVA go out and see y'all like you were on NYE or imma get my belt.
On the phone with the fashion Poh'lice