What Be Irkin' Me? - Volume 1

Yep I had to separate these into volumes because I know there will probably be plenty more of these. I just thought I would make a post of these things so you all can stop doing them know what bugs me the most. I can't think of them all at once, I usually figure out how irritated I am after people continuously piss me off....but trust me there will be plenty of updates on this subject to come. So here we go for the 1st edition of my pet peeves:



1. Side-ho's - Now y'all know this was gonna be the FIRST one. This is absolutely my BIGGEST pet peeve. Why would you want to be a sideline-ho? What do you really think you are worth if you have to be with somebody else's wife/husband? I really hate when they feel that they are "winning" cuz they are able to pull somebody else's piece...at least temporarily. Here's a thought: Don't you think people who can pull their OWN man are winning more than you are??? I mean really....People irritate me sooooo bad with their excuses for being down with O.P.P.

2. Your vs. You're - Okay so I am NO English professor...y'all be readin these posts so you should know *rolls eyes*..but I seriously loathe seeing people repeatedly say stuff like "your awesome" or "your welcome". I can understand using the wrong "who's or whose" or "to, too, or two" every now and then.....but these are TWO DIFFERENT WORDS (I used the right "two" HAHA). I even can understand seeing it on FB or twitter....but when your College Professor uses it?????? *throws everything off the table*. Just un-enroll from the institution...don't even ask for your money back just keep walkin.

3. Calling me by my GUBMENT name - Yes I said it GUBMENT name. Now some people have approval to do this...and they know who they are. I always introduce myself by my gubment in a professional setting and always follow by saying "Please call me 'usual name' thanks". There are a few people who I know keep calling me by my gubment name just to make me look like this:

This is how I be wanting to react

They know good and hell well that they don't be callin me by the Gubment name. This one lady will be all in my face callin me by my "usual" name (or nick name) then when she get in her moods she wanna get all GUBMENT on me.....QUIT PLAYIN HEFFA!!!! That's like calling Bill Clinton "William" or Will Smith "Willard".....call me what I ask you to call me dammit *rolls eyes...punches wall*

4. Not knowing when you're welcome -  (notice I used You're) I cannot STAND it when people don't get the hint. Me and my girl joke about this all the time. We will be sitting there having a conversation and then someone will walk up and we get quiet. Now usually that is a sign that either A) We was taunboutchu or B) We don't wan't you to know what we was taunbout. *trowing my Pinky tantrum* Either way it goes you are NOT welcome. Don't come satchoass down like you part of the conversation. Or when you come and talk to me and I 1)barely acknowledge you 2) am on the phone 3) roll my eyes and turn my back......can't you get the hint???? Go'on now....skeedaddle!

5. Puttin yo nose in my food - Okay not literally, but dontchu hate when somebody be like what you eatin...you tell them.....then they stand there like you supposed to make them a plate? Then put they face by it like oooo that smell good *slaps them* GONE SOMEWHERE AND SADDOWN. Don't be blowin yo boogers all in my food. You ain't offer me nunna yo co'nbread you had for lunch.

6. Internet Bullies - This has caused me to unfollow MANY people on YouTube, Twitter, FB, or any other social networking site. I can't stand a person who thinks that because they have 1000 friends/followers/subscribers that this means they can bully people. I had this one dude who had all these lil ugly jobless girls backing him up when he was tryna roast somebody so he thought he was doin it....Um boo boo don't nobody care that you got a buncha welfare chicks with 7 kids and 8 baby daddies backin you up....that don't give you no cred.........*clicks unfollow and block button*

7. People all up in my computer screen - If I am sitting at MY computer typing, that does not welcome you to what is on my screen. Ain't nobody tell you this was yo bidness!!!! What if I was sending sex texts to my man or something?!?!?! I'on wantchu readin them. Imma just start typing vulgar stuff when people do this just so they can get offended. Like as soon as they look at my screen imma G Chat somebody "aye how was that animal sex you had last night? I heard that was some good stuff!" or "well Kells maybe them young girls like when you pee on 'em so keep doin it". Maybe that will stop them from looking at my screen *writes this down for future reference*

8. People with bad hygiene - Okay this one is sensitive but ohhhhhhhhh so necessary. Now we all have had our bad days of eating too many onions at Chipotle or that 2nd cup of coffee. There are even a few of us who ONE DAY was rushing out the shower and forgot the deodorant......but when you got somebody that stank EVERY DAY????? That is an issue. I know this one girl who had the NERVE to say something about other people needing to wear deodorant and I immediately gave her the Prince Side-Eye:

The CLASSIC Prince Side-Eye

I know TA HELL YOU DIDN'T??????? This stanky heffa come up in there er'day FONKAY. I am not even taunbout just deodorant. You can smell this girl's pancreas stankin. I'm like "really, seriously, you gon' just tell them to put on some deodorant when you evidently have ostracized this very thing from your toiletry aresenal???" Heffa say what?!?!?!

It's one thing when you have a bad day or afternoon, but a bad lifetime???? Oh no you didn't!

9. Know-It-All's (KIAs) - Okay let me define this before people look at me like I am crazy. A "know-it-all" (or KIA) is not a person who just knows a lot. A know it all is a person who THINKS they know everything AND are not willing to admit when they are wrong. I know this one lady who will be like "The sky is red" then when you show her the sky is blue she will be like "well right now it looks blue, but you have to think about those people who are color blind and can only see out of one eye while wearing rose colored glasses." Come on nah....just admit you are wrong. Sometimes it is okay to just bow out gracefully.

And Finally

10.  People who always gotta have a better story than you - this one is a little bit different from a KIA because they just always in everybody business and tryna make they business better. You can be tellin a story about how painful your child birth experience was...then here they come....and ain't even got no kids taunbout "well when I went to the hospital with my sister she had been in labor for 5 days...oh it was such a traumatic experience.....blah blah blah blah..." you get the point.  Why you always gotta outshine er;body else? Let people get they lil spotlight. Don't nobody even care about your sister....you was adopted anyway!


I know y'all got some pet peeves too. Don't be judging me. Leave them in the comments :)


Slightly Annoyed,

~LuvMeNaturally