In this post I will show you how the #1 wifey (or husband) is ahead of the game. You think you doin something side-ho????? Think again. Wives may go through some hell after dealing with you side-ho's, but they still WIN, WIN NO MATTER WHAT *throws hands UP...and they stay there, and they stay there, and they stay there*. OH, where was I??? Oh yeah. You side ho's think you doin something but even if the
Check out the play by play.......(****note*** again in this post I use wives as the example but you side-ho men ain't exempt. You are losers as well).
Ike and Tina Turner
Married for 16 years and fo' sho' Ike had a side-ho or 3. I don't know if y'all seen "What's Love Got to do with it" but every time one of em came, they soon left. He wasn't leavin Tina. None of them won. Eventually they got divorced but guess what. We STILL be listening to Tina and watchin her do her thang and she KEPT that name even when he was trippin cuz his daddy gave him that name O__o And where Ike at (well now rest his soul but I mean before that)??? Yep didn't think you really knew.
Katherine and Joe Jackson
Joe was a playa playa. EVERYBODY wanted some tall, dark, and handsome blue-eyed Joe Jackson. And you know what...summa er'body prolly had a piece. But he always brought his tail back home with them 9 kids and good ole Katie. Even though he couldn't keep it in his pants (I mean really.... 9 kids that we know of) he loved him some Katie. Since 1949 AND they STILL TOGETHER (well kinda)...Plus Katherine got the advantage of having control of MJ's ish????? Oh yeah, once again the wife prevails and side-ho loses.......
Swizz Beatz and Mashonda
Well this one is on another note. I guess sometime we all gotta give up a point or 2. Although this coulda been a shut out, this story takes me on a whole different level. There are rumors that he did cheat on Mashonda with Alicia, but some say it was after they were separated. Whatever the case we will give y'all this one....
John and Kate Gosselin
Everybody thought it was so cute they they had all them kids at once (okay not everyone, I rarely watched the show)....anyway I guess all them little rugrats running around finally got to John cuz he got him a lil dip on the side. She thought she was winning for a while too....Eventually John and Kate got a divorce. Jon said some dumb stuff like Kate was cheating too (that is always the excuse. What ever happened to 2 wrongs?????). Looking back at it a year later...Kate is back on TV still getting her fame on even with all them kids. Now where is John????? GO ahead, I'll wait.........*hums jeopardy theme* yeah that's what I thought.
Bill and Hillary Clinton
Okay so this has to be the ultimate betrayal of le' side-ho. I mean er'body and they mama knew about Bill and Monica. We still use catchy phrases based on the popular statement "I did not have sexual relations with that woman". DANG Monica. First of all Bill straight up dismissed you right there. "That woman"???? He couldn't even call you by your gubment name. That how much respect the side-ho's get. Men/women sometimes get weak and they allow you to get under the desk at the oval office and....well you know the story....but when it comes down to it they go back to their powerful wife who eventually becomes senator of New York and then Secretary of State for one of the most popular Presidents EVER.....you be the judge.
Jesse James and Sandra Bullock
Really Jesse??? Your wife was already a pretty nice looking woman and a good actress. Then you wait 'til she got academy awards and er'thang to go and do THIS????????
|Really Jesse??? For Real???|
Mr. Jesse James you are still losing for this one. I mean you ain't have nuthin better ta do???? You lose just for wasting everybody's time to look at this hot mess. Anyway I heard the family is going to spend Christmas together. Yes THE FAMILY....which does not include the side-ho special. See side-ho's can never get a break (not that they need one). Plus Sandra is still an Oscar winning actress and Kat....well she ain't even worth taumbout.
I gotta group all of these together since groupies of sports players seems to ALWAYS be around. I mean I ain't sayin she a gold digger.....but'er'uh......ANYWAY
- Michael and Juanita Jordan - 17 years she put up with it (maybe not all 17 years) but in the end she walked off with $168 Million!!!!! I mean I know Mike is the G.O.A.T. but even that GOTSTA hurt a dude heart (and pockets). $168 Million???!?!?!?!?!?!!? I would say Juanita is winning.
- Shaq and Shaunie - Well besides the child and spousal support she wins because.... well look at him....
|Shaq is a hot mess LOL|
- Kobe and Vanessa - yeah the ho's came swarming. I mean he is one of the greatest players...wait let me save that argument for another blog. Anyway the side-ho's tried to dip in, wasn't satisfied so they threw in rape accusations and er'thang. But what did Kobe do after all that??? He PUT A RING ON IT! And not no punk ring neither. He spent FO' MILLION DOLLAHS $$$$$$$ on it! So not only does he stay with wifey, he shows her that it is worth the stay. Not saying people should stay for material reasons, but I think you know what I mean when you see it.....
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston
I have to admit that Brangelina grew on me after a few years. I look at them and I say awwwww look at all those kids and stuff. They are some humani...humanita......they so nice with they money!!!!! :D and they be adopting every needy kid that ain't American that they can find. Then I thought about it. THAT DIRTY DAWG left the best girl that was on friends for her!!! All Angelina did was got all pouty mouthed and whipped a gun out on him prolly. I don't know what else she whipped on him but she was Doin it, and Doin it, and Doin it well *does that LL dance from the video*. Angelina broke up what seemed to be one of those perfect Prince Charming and Cinderella Marriages with one pucker of them lips. She actually gets an extra point from me on this one.
BUT FINALLY.....................The shot that put us over the top. It was 5 seconds left in the game. This was a 4 point play, with a flagrant foul on top of a home run with a touch down and a field goal PLUS a Hole in One!!!!! (that last one should have tipped you off)
Tiger and Elin Woods
|Yep she is smiling!|
Do I have to really go into this one.....................how many $$$$$$$ mil's did Elin get???? 'Nuff said!!!
*Doin Holy Ghost Dip*
Side-Ho's:............don't even matta no mo'
*holding up gold medals*