ATTN Skinny People....Stop O_o *side eyeing* the fat people at the gym

So I finally got my butt back in the gym yesterday. It wasn't easy, but I did feel good afterwards. So while I am doing my thang running on the treadmill, I suddenly see an influx of skinny people surrounding me on some of the machines (okay it was really only about 3 or 4). I am doing my brisk walk/jog and this HEFFA jumps on the machine next to me and starts straight up sprinting.

I wasn't intimidated okay maybe a little but then I started to notice the people around me side eyeing me. All the skinty people in there running like they were Olympians are looking at me crazy like I ain't s'posed ta be there.

HELLO skinty people???!!! Wake up and go get a sammich or sumthin. I need to be on the treadmill burning some cals. You all up in here with your six pack abs and your collar bone sticking out ackin like (yes I said ackin like) I can't have my fat petooty up on dis here treadmill. Well I got news for you skinty people, I need to be skinty one day too (maybe not skinty, but somewhere around there).

How am I gonna get skinty if I don't hit dis here treadmill? What else would you suggest that I do Mr. and Mrs. skinty pants? You think I should stay at home and use the old and dusty workout DVDs that I have only watched once while eating ice cream that I only purchased because people like you are always O_o me at the public gym?

News flash skinty people..... when they are selling gym memberships they aren't looking for six pack abs and collar bones. They are looking for the fat bastards people who need to get in there and lose weight. Do you know how many times I have been approached in the gym and they offer me personal training (even though I already have it and I just don't use it)? I can be running on the treadmill right next to 2 skinty people and who do they tartget? They come after me...WHY??? Well because I need it and you need to go saddown somewhere.

So don't be O_o me while I am on the treadmill sweating bullets and bout to pass out. Stop looking at me like its 1945 and I walked in the white only bathroom and I am black as Wesley Snipes. I am the one who needs to be there. Just help me up and get me some water after I buss my behind.

Not sincerely at all,

LuvMeNaturally